That line is a powerful piece of advice - "When a reaction is bigger than the moment demands, the moment is usually touching something deeper" - Funny thing is, we can see it in others and don't see it in ourselves.
What strikes me is that adaptation is usually talked about as an unquestioned good. Regardless if its resilience, flexibility or plain survival.
But adaptation has a shadow side too. We can become so adapted to an environment, a role, or a version of ourselves that we stop noticing we're adapting at all.
"The system doesn't distinguish between what's good for you and what's familiar."
I think that line sits at the center of a lot of what both of us have been exploring lately.
Thank you for taking our conversation and turning it into something deeper.
the insight that "when a reaction is bigger than the moment demands, it's touching something deeper" really landed. It made me rethink those outbursts that never made sense in the moment. Thank you for making "noticing" feel practical.
Wonderful post, I really enjoyed reading this. The depth of self-awareness (especially when you recognised the past experience with a bully was creating the behaviour in that moment) and the patience of allowing it to naturally evolve rather than pushing an answer. It’s a place I feel like I’m at right now.
To live authentically in line with our true values and beliefs and what truly matters to us, to be fluid to move with life ✨
'When a reaction is bigger than the moment demands, the moment is usually touching something deeper.' This was a deeply honest read and such an important topic. Adaptation does indeed become drift and ache, and it can be manifesting in different ways. An unreasonable reaction or no reaction at all. It's important to learn to recognise that and great to read you're directing your work with men - who have such a high rate of unforgiveness to themselves, or at least that's how I've interpreted the darker stats that have fataly affected some of the people I have known. Keep going 💚
I didn’t decide that. I would never have decided that.
This line stood out to me. Lots of "thankfully" minor regrets about my life that fall exactly into that category. I did what I thought I was supposed to be doing - until I took a step back really looked at the situation.
Ryan, this really stood out to me: "The system doesn't distinguish between what's good for you and what's familiar." I think we confuse familiar with intentional more often than we'd like to admit. Thanks for giving me something to think about.
There must be many ways the brain optimizes by reducing workload. One area I looked into was how the eyes produce too much information to process. One estimate was a DVDs worth of data every 4 seconds. The brain discards 90% or more… basically concentrating on differences. The brain has a back channel to the eyes so only interesting data is returned…
That line is a powerful piece of advice - "When a reaction is bigger than the moment demands, the moment is usually touching something deeper" - Funny thing is, we can see it in others and don't see it in ourselves.
That's a sure sign something's not right.
So true. It can be hard to see in ourselves.
The question is whether you’ve noticed. And if you have, what are you willing to do about it?
This gets back to self awareness. Which isn’t a given. You don’t really know you lack it, either. 😬
Yeah, not having the awareness to know you’re not aware is a challenge. Took me longer than I care to admit to see it.
Ryan, I really enjoyed this.
What strikes me is that adaptation is usually talked about as an unquestioned good. Regardless if its resilience, flexibility or plain survival.
But adaptation has a shadow side too. We can become so adapted to an environment, a role, or a version of ourselves that we stop noticing we're adapting at all.
"The system doesn't distinguish between what's good for you and what's familiar."
I think that line sits at the center of a lot of what both of us have been exploring lately.
Thank you for taking our conversation and turning it into something deeper.
the insight that "when a reaction is bigger than the moment demands, it's touching something deeper" really landed. It made me rethink those outbursts that never made sense in the moment. Thank you for making "noticing" feel practical.
Wonderful post, I really enjoyed reading this. The depth of self-awareness (especially when you recognised the past experience with a bully was creating the behaviour in that moment) and the patience of allowing it to naturally evolve rather than pushing an answer. It’s a place I feel like I’m at right now.
To live authentically in line with our true values and beliefs and what truly matters to us, to be fluid to move with life ✨
There was a lot in there. A great read that I feel I've learned a lot from.
'When a reaction is bigger than the moment demands, the moment is usually touching something deeper.' This was a deeply honest read and such an important topic. Adaptation does indeed become drift and ache, and it can be manifesting in different ways. An unreasonable reaction or no reaction at all. It's important to learn to recognise that and great to read you're directing your work with men - who have such a high rate of unforgiveness to themselves, or at least that's how I've interpreted the darker stats that have fataly affected some of the people I have known. Keep going 💚
I didn’t decide that. I would never have decided that.
This line stood out to me. Lots of "thankfully" minor regrets about my life that fall exactly into that category. I did what I thought I was supposed to be doing - until I took a step back really looked at the situation.
Ryan, this really stood out to me: "The system doesn't distinguish between what's good for you and what's familiar." I think we confuse familiar with intentional more often than we'd like to admit. Thanks for giving me something to think about.
There must be many ways the brain optimizes by reducing workload. One area I looked into was how the eyes produce too much information to process. One estimate was a DVDs worth of data every 4 seconds. The brain discards 90% or more… basically concentrating on differences. The brain has a back channel to the eyes so only interesting data is returned…